Tom's new baby and motherhood

• Tom's new baby
  
  People have told me I'm crazy for it. Tom got his (almost) dream car. Two weeks ago he became the proud owner of an Audi convertible. No, he'd not having a midlife crisis. We're thinking of it as a Father's Day gift since he got it the day after. I think I'm the best wife ever! In fact, I think I should get a new SUV for Mother's Day next year. I even found the perfect one at the Audi dealership...Pictures will have to follow in another post since the car is with Tom at work.

• Motherhood

Have you ever noticed how most mommy blogs are sugar-coated? All sweetness and sunshine about the life lessons they are learning from their offspring. I am not one of those moms and this is not one of those blogs. I love my kids. I truly do. But sometimes I really want to run away. Ok, not out of town runaway but definantly out-the-door-screaming-and-pulling-my-hair run away.

This morning I took the kids to a kids' Zumba class at my gym. It was cheap, I thought they would like the activity and Cate and I could have a good time watching. Wrong. Thomas wouldn't do it because he said the music was too loud, Patrick did the warm-up song and then sat down and Beth got tired halfway through and wanted Cate's snack. So, while I'm trying to get them back up and finish the class they are all sitting on one of my appendages and/or lap. I'm not a jungle-gym and have never advertised myself as such. I know, I know. "Someday they won't want to sit in your lap, Megan." "Someday they won't want to talk to you and ask you any questions." (When we pull into the gym parking lot), Beth: "Is this your exercise class Mommy?" "Is this where you park when you come to exercise class?" " Is this where you always park?" "Is this the parking spot you were in when you first came to exercise class?"

I guess I'm having a hard time understanding why I don't find as much joy in my children as others. Why I live for the days my sitter comes over and I get to go out alone. Why I cringe when I hear someone wailing/crying (again) and don't think "Oh no, what happened?" but instead "Now what?!" Why I wish I could go back and do everything over again and not have them so close in age. Why I love public school so much and think it should be year-round. Why I can't get my act together enough to motivate my kids to clean up after themselves instead of me playing maid every day. (Can someone please take their dishes to the sink without being asked?!)

Maybe I just needed to rant. Maybe it's the rainy weather. Maybe it's my cold feet in July. Maybe it's Buster chewing on everything in sight except his chew toys......