Post-holiday slump? Let's get back to reality.

No, I have not fallen off the face of the Earth. I know I've been totally MIA for this past month. Call it a combination of holidays and me not feeling very inspired/creative/talented. We survived the holiday season, having a quiet Christmas at home with just us. DH cooked Christmas dinner as one of my presents and it was exquisite! Standing rib roast, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, roasted green beans... it was delicious. We went to my dad's house in Virginia for a few days and then went to my SIL's new house in Harper's Ferry for New Year's Eve. The twins are now back to school and Beth has just finished her second bout with strep throat/scarlet fever.

Several items have been constantly entering my mind recently. The first is how much I struggle with envy. I try so hard to not be envious of what others have that I may not. I recognize how hard my hubby works for what we have. Part of me knows that I should just be satisfied with what we are able to manage right now and we should live below our means, blah blah blah. Our parents grew up in tiny houses with one bathroom all their lives, I should be happy with the one and a half that we have. Then the other part of me is afraid that it will never be enough and why can't I have the big 5,000 sq. foot home! My home is overflowing with STUFF that I could do without, at least half of it. I swear I could get rid of half of everything and function just fine.

Yet I still get the "i need" urge when I wander the aisles at WallyWorld. Wallyworld is my escape. I will have a short list of things I have to get and will take three times as long as I need to get through the store, simply for the soothing, mindlessness I get from walking the aisles. No one is pulling on me, or asking me questions. I don't have to do more than one thing at a time. I can just focus on my items one at a time and if I happen to run into someone I know, I can stand and talk to them as long or as little as I please. As I wander I see new kitchen gadgets that make cooking prepwork look so much easier on my favorite Food TV show, or baskets and buckets that will surely help me organize my house and get rid of the chaos. I feel that as Latter-day Saints we "can't" do a lot, i.e. drink alcohol, gamble, but by golly! We can spend money!

I have been trying so hard lately to uplift myself and strengthen myself spiritually. I actually read my scriptures and try to remember to pray daily. I have turned off the tv during naptime and do not let myself get sucked into daytime tv. If i do watch something during the day it is most likely a Women's Conference talk from BYU tv that I recorded. Or maybe another episode of NCIS that I'm now hooked on thanks to my dear, sweet SIL who insisted I watch an episode with her while we were visiting. In all this uplifting and spiritual immersion, I have been seriously comtemplating the idea of homeschooling our kids next year. I know. Me. Homeschool. Never thought you would read those two words in the same sentence, did ya? I have been feeling impressions for quite awhile now that this is the right thing to do so I finally told DH about it and , as I assumed he would, he totally flipped out on me. We are still in the research/negotiation stage so I will keep you filled in on this. I just get more and more scared when I think about everything that kids are exposed to these days and how much worse will it be when they get to high school? I know that kids need to learn to deal with outside influences and stand up for what they believe in. But they also need to be "in the world and not of the world" and I will do everything in my power to prevent my kids from going through some of the pain and suffering I dealt with due to falling prey to worldy temptations.

I have acquired a new hobby, making hairbows for my girls. I have lots of people asking to buy them now. Of course, this comes right when it will soon be illegal for me to sell them without extensive, pricey testing for lead. Everything I have thought on the topic infuriates me and is better said by my favorite talk radio host Glenn Beck.

Whew! I know that was a lot and you're probably just as exhausted from reading it as I am from writing it. There are many more thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head lately but for now I must go investigate the mysteriously large bump that just occured over my head on the second floor.